Self-Care for Clergy in Cross-Racial/Cross-Cultural Ministry
By Rev. Dr. Giovanni Arroyo
Intentional Self-Care Is a Spiritual Must-Do, Especially for Clergy in Cross-Racial Ministries
At our best, pastors are caring people who are good at taking care of others; however, we often fail to treat ourselves with the same level of care. Particularly for those pastors serving congregations, self-care is neither selfish nor an indulgent luxury. Rather, caring for one’s mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being allows pastors to give our best to God and the church through our gifts and graces. You are unable to do that if you are not restored.
Along with the inevitable pressures and demands of shepherding a parish, campus ministry, or other group, clergy of color and those who come from another ethnicity, nation/cultural context than the one you are serving, may need to practice additional self-care. (This may also be true for clergy from marginalized groups, such as women, LGBTQI persons, and young adults.) We must be intentional in ensuring we do just that!
Along with spiritual retreats, time apart with friends and family, and practices that promote physical and emotional health, clergy in cross-racial and cross-cultural appointments may also seek more:
Support from and quality time with mentors and friends from their own cultural/identity groups.
Access to culturally relevant and knowledgeable pastoral counselors and therapists as needed by themselves and/or their family.
Reliable support from supervisors who are interculturally competent and sensitive to the realities of racism.
Support from and training for the congregation’s staff-parish relations committee, trustees, and/or directors.
If you are beginning your first—or a new—cross-racial/cross-cultural ministry assignment, make an honest inventory of how well you take care of yourself. Use the lists below to assess how well you practice self-care now and what you might need more of in the future. Choose one or two ideas on which to focus. Ask a trusted friend or colleague (or therapist) to serve as an accountability partner, who will encourage you to meet your self-care goals. Once you feel that you have integrated your practice into your daily routine, come back to the list and try a new approach for yourself.
Take care of your body:
Move your body. Do light to moderate physical exercise as your body permits (e.g. a dance class, a 30-minute walk, water aerobics, or chair yoga) at least three times per week.
Rest well. Develop a regular sleep routine and practice a daily wind-down, including no meals or caffeine after a certain hour, and turning off electronics at least an hour before bedtime.
Rediscover leisure time. Make time to watch your favorite movie or TV show each week. Listen to music. Take up a hobby such as painting, hiking or baking.
Take care of your spirit:
Pray—and not just on the job. Research reported in 2019 by Psychology Today found that adults who pray daily report having better self-esteem and an easier time handling depressive episodes. Find a prayer partner and pray regularly.
Keep Sabbath. Sunday is a workday for many clergy. However, good pastors take a day of rest and renewal at least one day a week, because it allows you needed time alone with God. Set that day for yourself or with your spouse or family and keep it.
Try meditation. Whether you use an app, attend a class, or develop your own method, deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, and visualization may help you connect more intensely with God.
Take care of your relationships:
Make time for family. Whether you live with a spouse and other family members or have a circle of friends who are like family, they are a source of love and encouragement that you cannot find elsewhere.
Be there for your besties. Again, your best friends—those who know you, love you, and cheer you on—are especially precious when you find yourself in challenging situations. Be sure to stay in touch with them and call on them when you need a safe place to vent.
Let the children come. If you’re a person who gets energized around children and youth, you’ll want to spend leisure time with your own children, cousins, siblings’ children, and those of your close friends. They remind us that serving God includes shepherding (and learning from) young disciples.
Taking care of your mind:
Dive into books. Read or listen to genres that you enjoy. Set a goal to finish at least one book a month.
Exercise your intellect. Crossword puzzles, Sudoku, learning a new language, taking up a musical instrument, or attending lectures/art exhibits can flex your mental muscles.
Honor your cultural heritage. Especially if you serve a parish from a racial/cultural/identity group different than your own, celebrate special days, family traditions, and community events. Stay connected.
Find a therapist or counselor. If needed, seek out professionals who demonstrate intercultural competence and understand the particulars of serving people who are quite different from you.
Keep a journal. Whether electronic or handwritten, keep a journal of your celebrations, challenges, frustrations, conversations with God. Write it out.
